Life is short; this is a phrase you would have heard so many times before but can never grasp the true meaning behind. Not until when you personally experience or feel the pain some events give you.
A close friend recently passed away and in such a young age, the impact is more traumatizing than anyone could have imagined. Loosing your loved ones are probably one of the most valuable lessons in anyone’s life. I am going to share my experience and what i have gained from my loss.
A great man never walks alone,
Accepting death, it really does depends on your philosophical belief. Denial, believing in the passed one leaves nothing behind as his physical appearance is no more presence would probably hurt and torn you apart. Guilt, doubts or whatever sadness creep onto you will not only drown you in the sea of sorrow but also to bury you in the quick-sand of self-pity which leads to depression. I was going through stages of grief and this was the first stage i had to deal with. As this was my first time loosing a friend, i had zero expectation to know how to feel or to handle myself. I guess there will never be a “guide” to handle these situations as each passing is unique in terms of memories and circumstances. As human beings, emotions should be the driving force to live.
Cry you shall, Scream you shall, but Doubt you shall not.
Friends and lovers
Who cares about you? Who is a friend with motive? Who will be there for you? These questions probably be most difficult to find out in the normal days of your life. But in events like this, you can see deep inside people’s soul and personalities. Not only because from their reaction but from the willingness and love they show to you. Even family members, they might not be as helpful as you believe they would nor your best friends who you thought will be there for you. Luckily, for me i can not ask more a better friend group. Support and respect and to love each other in the absence of a fraction of our life.
Live with your feeling
We are living in a world of materialized focus society, it has its pros and cons. It is true that you can’t be happy without a certain amount of money to be worry-free. But is that so? This event had me and my original beliefs in questions. I ask myself, what if i make the wrong decision and in expense of my youth to find out i should have turned to other direction. Money vs freedom, its a dilemma i do not understand and cant be balanced. With money, there is freedom yet there isn’t as management would be required to achieve security and a state of mind with comfort. I can go on writing about both sides for ever but, i realized one thing. Its to live with your heart. My friend who passed did exactly that. searching for his soul and the meaning of life. But we all want to be happy in the end of the day and it is the only thing we will look back to when we are near the end. So why being depressed and chasing tirelessly.
Life is really complex, we always are seeking answers with our curiosity. Being dwell into a series of speculations which can both feed our motivation or depression. Being able to see “clearly” is the most difficult thing in recent years as we have pressured by family, education, finance or whatever that has been troubling us. Living simple, with clear mind, kind heart and a good conscience is the source of happiness. I believe, whether it fulfills yourself or to make others happy. This is what i shared with my friend who passed, putting others before us and never make people angry or feeling of negativeness. I try to not to, but bear in mind. You can’t please everyone and so be it.
A wondrous mind has drifted on, but it wont be gone, it will always live on